Loneliness when I am left alone; curled up in a ball; crying to myself. The tears they roll off my face to touch or land on my pillow.
The soft touch, the quick smile; all I miss as my thoughts drift to you.
Love lost, or is it a broken dream? I wonder have I trusted in something that is just not there. False hope, it's eating at me, when I look to the future of a distant memory.
Eyes red, tired and lonely; how long must it be like this? All those words. Are they real; or are they just helping me build my own personal hell? Sometimes I am walking on air, but it can be bitter, you know.
Pictures fade because the times change. They say that true love walks all time. I guess it's faith in me to show you that I am the one.
Scared of the future, I think, and wonder if it is real. I walk alone with tear-stained eyes. I lie alone at night imagining where you are and who you are. Are you terrified of me, of the hurt that I cannot bring? I ache to know if your love is real. The letters they come one by one to let you know who I am. I am afraid of a past that seems all too real.
Here I lay reflecting in the dark, as the clouds run across my mind. Where is the sunshine? When will I be able to enjoy the warmth of you? The tears become as rain as they fall from my eyes. The words whisper what my heart knows, “I love you” I say.
No one there, are you too scared to say or give the same? The miles they separate us; the distance of time; the changing seasons. Faith in me. That's what you need. Do you ever dream of me perhaps whispering in your heart that you love me?
You try to turn away, realizing that perhaps your heart is saying to stay. Can he be real, you think, or just too good to be true? Your heart cries, and your soul testifies, but still leaves you in confusion, not wanting to believe. You wonder if you should give your heart, but you rationalize in your mind that you are all right. A needed touch. A needed love. I cry.
Alone with my reality. I am so hallow; almost broken. Kind words of a lingering past; pictures fading; always dreaming; this is all that I have. My thoughts ache deep in my swirling mind as I want to tell you. My emotions are flowing because no one is showing. My eyes water like a roaring sea crashing down.
I see the moon on a cloudless night; bright shining down on me. I reach––I stretch out my arm trying to grab imagining that maybe you're looking at the same. No words to describe or to say only emotions can tell the game. The wind it rushes by making me feel so alive; as my heart whispers the magic words of “I love you.”
22 December 1997
